When Life Changes, Blogs Follow

Because of VERY significant changes in my life, I will be creating a major overhaul on my blog ! It will transform into a place where I can share my ideas, conflicts, joys, laughter, trials, burdens, accomplishments, setbacks, and all the things I encounter living with Multiple Sclerosis!

Yes, I said it! I am living with M.S. !! Wow! There is a true sense of FREEDOM in typing those words!         Those battling this horrific disease alongside me will understand what I mean. Anyway, I have alot of writing to accomplish to bring my readers up to date! Much has happened during the past three years. A three year break from blogging makes for alot of interesting topics, so I urge you all to stay right where you are and don't give up on me! I will be blogging alot. My hope is that other MSers out there can also find answers and HOPE through my experiences. 

Thinking of you, Brother...

His home is....heaven. Although it has been years, I still often feel like it was yesterday. I look at pictures of him often, because I don't want to forget....anything. I memorize his features, study them. I need to keep his face clear in my mind. It helps to erase the distance between us....keeping him fresh in my mind. I love you, Russ. 

Sweet 16

My 'baby' turned 16 at the end of September !! I cannot believe it. Makes me feel so old. And I am left asking myself where time flew off to ? I can remember when Alex was just a baby, every 'mom' I knew told me to cherish each and every moment because it would fly by. And it did. They were right. I have tears in my eyes, just writing this. She is my one and only, and that makes it so much harder. In two VERY SHORT years, she will be in Junior college and then away to a major University only a year after that. She is my life. She is so beautiful and smart beyond her years. One of the most mature teenagers I know. And I am not just saying that because she is mine. She is truly so wise. Her youth director at church once told me that he thought she was an old person, who had a life full of experiences and insight, just trapped in a little person's body. I believe she has an 'old soul'. It's remarkable really. Maybe it is because she is an only child and grew up around adults mostly. Or maybe it is because she has been through a heck of alot, for a child her age. She and I 'grew up together'...literally. At the time, it was tough and painful. Now, looking back, I wouldn't have it any other way. Alex and I have a relationship that is so unique and special beyond words. We are EXTREMELY close. We talk about EVERYTHING...sex, drugs, music, whatever. At some point, already, we have probably covered the topic. I am blessed that God chose ME to be responsible for such a WONDERFUL little person. I could not POSSIBLY be more proud than I am now. Alex is special. I believe God will use her to touch lives in unbelievable ways. Although I am sad that she will leave me, one day sooner than later, I am overjoyed at the fact that I get to watch her live out her dreams and witness how God will use her in the next 40 years. It's always an adventure with Alex !!! I am posting a few pictures from her 'Sweet 16' getaway. We travelled to Dallas and had a blast !! I love you Alexandria !!!

You know you are a SINGLE woman when.....

1. There is enough hair on your legs that even Godzilla would be afraid of you.

2. It's invansion of the tampons !! There's one lying in every nook and cranny of the house.

3. You couldn't find a bar of soap to save your life. It's all about vanilla exfoliating shower gels and honey suckle bubble bath.

4. For that matter, your bathroom shower looks like a bath and body works store.

5. You own flannel pajamas in every color of the rainbow. And you sleep in them regularly.

6. Your television is programmed to only three channels : Lifetime Movie network, HGTV, and Martha Stewart Living.

7. You can actually take a shower without the bathroom smelling like poop.

8. And, there are not boogers stuck to the shower walls. Come on now girls, you know what I am talking about ....what is it with men blowing their nose in the shower !!!! Hideous I tell you ...just hideous!!

9. You don't have to worry about falling in the toilet because the seat is always up.

10. The toilet seat is actually white. Not yellow pee stained.

11. Your dog's name is Sugar. And he is a MALE.

12. You go to a football game and ask the person next to you 'What inning is this?' and you yell 'TOUCH DOWN BABY!!!!!' at a baseball game.

13. Your bedroom looks like something out of a Martha Stewart magazine.

14. Friday nights consists of flannel pajamas (refer to point #5), a Bette Midler movie marathon, and tackling a carton of bon bons, singlehandedly.

15. Your best friend is a gay man.

16. And he is #1 on your speed dial.

17. Your lawn boy's night job is a Chippendale Dancer....cause you KNOW your husband would never go for that. LOL !

18. And you coincidently seem to always be sun bathing in your itsy witsy teeny tiny poka dot bikini when he comes to mow the lawn. How ironic !

19. Your favorite sport is ice skating.

20.Your cd changer consists of Celine Dion, Barbara Streisand, and Tina Turner.

21. Your movie collection consists of Flashdance, Somewhere In Time, The Way We Were, An Affair to Remember, and other fabulous mushy chic flicks!

22. Your sofa is leopard print.

23. Your house is three different shades of pink. Fushia. Salmon. and Persian Rose.

24. Your pillow and sheets always smell of Lavendar linen spray.

25. Every door handle in the house is used for a bra hanger.

26. Your license plate reads :

Summer of 2009

It's been an interesting summer. Very interesting. I think I may have even lost a few of my 'sanity' genes (as if I could afford to loose what I have !) As a matter of fact, the picture above may be an indication of the fact that I am officially LOONEY ! Anyway, I will try to sum up this summer for you, briefly (is that possible?).

Is it EVER a good sign to start the summer w/ attorneys and a big move on the hottest day of the year? I am thinking....NOT ! As my father stated during the move 'it was enough to make even a Baptist Preacher wanna cuss' !!

Moving in 150 degree weather (make that Texas Heat) is NEVER fun. Throw in a master bedroom suite that suddenly became known as the 'Suite from Hell' . My oh soooo Heavenly Bed , not so Heavenly.

Enormous and light as a feather (can you hear the sarcasm?..baaahhhaaahaha).

Legend has it that most Texas women are C R A Z Y !!! At least that's what the men like to say. I've decided it has to be THE HEAT...it makes us all nutty !!! I'm just sayin' !! Here's the proof....the summer has been so HOT here , I even experienced a moment of slight in INSANITY....i woke up in a tatoo parlor. And I left with a ring in my belly button ! Yikes !!

Speaking of 'hell'...how about a trip to HELL...

oh wait, that was just Vegas! wheeewww(*shakes head and laughs out loud !) ..but hey, What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas, right? Thank the good Lord. And I would be lyin' if I said it was ALL bad... wink wink, Lance !

Oh, and I must pay tribute to the psychotic homeless bum in D.C. that threatened to "CUT UP" my BFF and I, if we didn't buy him a hot dog...seriously?! I saw my life flash before my eyes...and then I remembered good ole' Abe...always watching over his peeps !!

Thanks Abe !!



My insaneness carried over to my vacation in D.C., with my daughter. I did not win the 'Mother of the Year' award by carrying my baby to a Nickleback concert. Somebody please beat some sense into me....why did I think this was a good idea? I exposed my daughter to profanity, nudity, alcohol, and weed (let me rephrase that...the row of kids in front of us exposed her to weed! lol ) in four hours time. But like I said, IT'S THE HEAT !! THE HEAT MADE ME DO IT !!




And can somebody please explain these pictures to me? Yes, I know that is ME in the picture. YES I am aware that it appears to be ME chasing DUCKS ! YES YES YES !!I realize these were taken in front of the Lincoln Memorial. Wait...I am pretty sure the ducks called me a 'Quack' when we walked by....yep, that's it !!!!! I remember now ! Boy, was I gonna make them pay !









And what summer is complete without a visit to the ER......three words for ya - Daughter. Karate. Broken nose. (Did I mention her boyfriend did it?) But like I always say...just keep "Falling Forward"....hahaha!



Just in case my summer wasn't crazy enough....we topped it off with a good ole' fashion SURGERY !!! Nothing like the stinch of a hospital waiting room ....ahhhh...refreshing !





It's back to school on Monday....I am holding my breath until then !!!!!!

New Life, New Blog

Bear with me as I try to reevaluate my life...along with my blog ! I am in a new place in life and so I felt that drastic times (my new life) call for drastic measures (new blog) ! Out with the old...in with the new...right?! This should be interesting...as I rebuild my life...my fellow bloggers can watch from afar in this little quirky world of 'blogging'. But that's okay...I don't mind. Just because I have complete control over this little place of mine....you only see what I choose to post ! LOL ! Not to disappoint....it will still be juicy at times....and sad....and fun...and even CRAZY ! You can't hide CRAZY...right? Besides, I find blogging 'good for the soul'. Very therapeutic ! It's like venting to your bff...only you don't have to listen to any advice. It's just a 'take it or leave it' kind of place. Those of you who know me...know why I chose to start fresh...to build a new blog...to 'fall forward' ..rather than keep clinging to the past. So here it is...the first step in learning to LIVE OUT LOUD and quit looking back !!

Happy blogging my sweet friends !!! Look forward to catching up...I've been away for a while !

My wreckage...HIS masterpiece

"...Because it is by HIS GRACE that we walk through this life, by HIS and HIS alone".

Memories flood my soul. Springing forth, overwhelming me with the notion that I should pause, a bit longer, on this chapter of my life entitled "Lessons Learned".

I hesistate flipping the page. But HE beckons and I obey. This chapter is too familar. Verse by verse, it burns with turmoil. My thoughts smolder in its ruins. Some memories vivid. Some vague. But all lie under the ash of what remains.

I steady myself in the midst of this darkness. For HE that is in me, is GREATER than he that is in the world.....I prod my heart to seek HIM. Time and again. And again. I seek HIM. He gives me strength to push on. I understand now why he beckoned me to come here.

I am reminded of HIS presence in this place. He was standing there, in the midst of my hysteria. His arms - stretched wide and ever so gently stroking my tears away. One by one, each tear he touched. He felt the affliction of my soul. He whispers to me, ..."I am already there". He knows what is next. Why do I fear... to turn the page?

Still, I venture along, into the depths of my remorse - at times grief stricken, even apathetic - my spirit crushed, but not consumed. I continued to watch as He held captive... each and every one....my trials of desperation, and anguish, and sorrow. The reminents of which , together, begin to form the firm ground beneath my feet.

I am paralyzed, at this very moment, as he reveals to me the awe of His Power and Grace. For through my own shame, he weaved this story, this Masterpiece.